OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
