If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
