she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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