PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
