so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she looked like the before picture.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
