i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
