Got a toothbrush?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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