hell yes lets make some ravioli
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
