it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
