It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
