You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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