my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
