Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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