It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy sore nipples Batman
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
