do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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