What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
