He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
