It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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