we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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