Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
