I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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