So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
