According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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