do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
