I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
