Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
