Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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