Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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