Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
