bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
