sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
