U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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