My brain says no but my pants say off.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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