My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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