I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I forget how to act sober
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
