Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
