i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
