I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
