I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
