Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
