I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
