it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
