he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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