I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
