how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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