GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
