You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if only i could text you this smell
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Alive.
So much puke
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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