How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
