We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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