the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
